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FUNNY TALES, WITH A MORAL,
 POPULAR HUMOR

by  Anonymous!

 MANNERS!   WHAT PRICE?
  THE TRUE SHOOTER

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MANNERS!

Childish Behavior

A well-dressed business man was walking down the street when a
little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, 'Sir,
can you tell me the time?'

The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and
jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it
and said, 'It is a quarter to three, young man.'

'Thanks,' said the boy. 'At exactly three o'clock you can kiss
my foot.'

With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry,
the outraged businessman started chasing him. He had not been
running long when an old friend stopped him.

'Why are you running like this at your age?' asked the friend.

Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said,
'That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was
quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should
kiss his foot!'

'So what's your hurry,' said the friend. 'You still have ten
minutes.'

 TOP

What price?

Understanding...

A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that
read "Puppies For Sale."

Signs like that have a way of attracting small
children, and sure enough, a little boy appeared
under the store owner's sign. "How much are you
going to sell the puppies for?" he asked.

The store owner replied, "Anywhere from $30 to $50."

The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out
some change. "I have $2.37," he said. "Can I please
look at them?"

The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the
kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store
followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur.

One puppy was lagging considerably behind. Immediately
the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy
and said, "What's wrong with that little dog?"

The store owner explained that the veterinarian had
examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't
have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would
always be lame.

The little boy became excited. "That is the puppy
that I want to buy."

The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that
little dog. If you really want him, I'll just give
him to you."

The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight
into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger,
and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That
little dog is worth every bit as much as all the
other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll
give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I
have him paid for."

The store owner countered, "You really don't want
to buy this little dog. He is never going to be
able to run and jump and play with you like the
other puppies."

To his surprise, the little boy reached down and
rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted,
crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace.
He looked up at the store owner and softly replied,
"Well, I don't run so well myself, and the little
puppy will need someone who understands!"

We ALL need someone who Understands!

TOP

THE TRUE SHOOTER

A little planning, please...

A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and
servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets
were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I
must find him!"

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came
across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the
boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in
the center of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the
arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it
by all that I hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby
admit you into my service."

The boy thanked him profusely. "But I must ask one favor
in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you
came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree,
and then I paint the target around it."

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Posted 03-09-02
 

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