POSTED 03-02-01

JOKE #1

On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van
past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the
children that it was St. Andrews Church.

Just then, her young son piped up, "It must be a franchise,"
"We've got one of those in our town too."

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, 
was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. 
Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, 
"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary 
or the King James Virgin?"

JOKE #2

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked 
if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall 
not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

JOKE #3

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up 
and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned 
just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor 
asked the man where he had gone. 

"I went to get a haircut," was the reply. 

"But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the 
service?" 

"Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."

 
JOKE #4

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a
combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the
combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went 
to the pastor's study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. 
After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for 
a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips 
moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly 
turned to the final number, and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," 
she said.

"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece 
of tape on the ceiling."

JOKE #5

The church lady Miss. Gladys attended services one particular 
Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the 
congregation fell asleep.

After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy 
looking gentleman, in an attempt to revive him from his stupor, 
extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys 
Dunn."

To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!"

JOKE #6

A small boy came skipping into the house with a big lollipop in 
his hands.

"Where did you get it?" his mother asked.

"I bought it with the nickel you gave me."

"The nickel I gave you was for Sunday School."

"I know Mom," said the boy, "but the minister met me at the door 
and got me in free."

JOKE #7

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew
that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything
was wrong.

The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad
told him that he needed to go to church.

The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad
had explained to him why it was more important to go to
church than to go fishing,

To which the boy replied, yes he did, dad said he didn't have
enough bait for both of us.

JOKE #8

A minister, having served the same church for many years,
decided to leave and take a similar position in another
church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or
writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday
morning to announce his resignation in church. When he
spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that
called me to this church many years ago has now called upon
me to leave and serve another church."

The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus."

JOKE #9
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother 
after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother 
decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been 
snowing all night and everything was beautiful.

His grandmother remarked..."doesn't it look like an artist painted
this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"

Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."

This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes
you say God did this with his left hand?"

"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that
Jesus sits on God's right hand!"