Jokes Posted 03-02-01
JOKE #1
"Oh, No!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him.
Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How
anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope
that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find
his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept
him from turning and fleeing the scene.
He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually
impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He
moved ahead slowly. "Danny! Danny!" he whispered to himself.
He tripped and almost fell several times.
He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he
did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head
and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this
could have happened. There was some light but not enough
to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against
his hand.
He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another step
then cried out, "Danny!" From a nearby pile of unidentified
material, he heard his son.
"Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be
heard.
"It's time to get up and get ready for school,"the man
sighed, "and, for heaven's sake, clean up this room."
JOKE #2
A man pleaded with the psychiatrist, "You've got to help me.
It's my son."
"What's the matter?"
"He's always eating mud pies. I get up in the morning and
there he is in the backyard eating mud pies. I come hoes at
lunch and he's eating mud pies. I come home at dinner and
there he is in the backyard eating mud pies."
The psychiatrist reassured him, "Give the kid a chance. It's
all part of growing up. It'll pass."
"Well, I don't like it, and neither does his wife."
JOKE #3
Father: Why don't you get yourself a job?
Son: Why?
Father: So you could earn some money.
Son: Why?
Father: So you could put some money in a bank and earn
interest.
Son: Why?
Father: So that when you're old you can use the money in
your bank account ...and you would never have to
work again.
Son: I'm not working now.
JOKE #2
A father brought his son into the doctor because the boy
had a matchbox car shoved up his nose. All the while the
doctor was trying to remove the car, the father kept
saying "I don't know how he did it!" Finally the doctor
removed the car, and the father and son left.
A few hours later, the father came back with the matchbox
shoved up HIS nose. He told the doctor, "Now I know how
he did it!"
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