POSTED 03-02-01
JOKE #1
What a doctor means when you hear him or her say:
"This should be taken care of right away."
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so
easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures
itself.
"Welllllll, what have we here..."
I haven't the foggiest notion of what it is, I am hoping
you will give me a clue.
"We'll see."
First I have to check my malpractice insurance.
"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before
spending any more time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
I need the money, so I'm charging you for another office
visit.
"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
I don't know what the heck it is. Maybe it will go away
by itself.
"Everything seems to be normal."
I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.
"I'd like to run some more tests."
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the
lab can solve this one.
JOKE #2
An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge
a customer.
"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost,
you say '$75.'
If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will
be $50.'
If his eyes still don't flutter, you add 'Each.'"
JOKE #3
During the peak of the cold and virus season last winter, Doc
Peterson was giving a lot of penicillin shots. Doc tacked the
following sign to the door of his office: "To Save Time,
Please Back Into The Office."
JOKE #4
A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.
The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?"
"No," he replied. "I've never done either."
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with women?"
inquired the doctor.
"No, I've never done any of those things either."
"Well, then," said the doctor, "what do you want to live to
be a hundred for?"
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