JOKE #1

In Los Angeles, A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put
them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the
buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also
had a hole, so he lost the buttons.
Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe
soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out
of his shirt and the pocket from his pants and tossed them in
the trash along with the soles of his shoes. After looking in
a mirror at the holes in his clothing, he decided to toss his
clothes in the trash as well.
A fine member of the LAPD observed all this and asked the man
for identification.
The man produced a document that he was an ordained minister
of the gospel. So, of course, the LA policeman promptly
escorted him to a mental institution.
The minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving
such unjust treatment.
"Look, it's the best place for you now," the LA policeman
replied, "Anyone claiming to be a preacher, but who doesn't
save souls or wear holy clothes has probably lost his buttons."

JOKE #2

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was
stopped by a LAPD officer. "You were speeding," the officer
said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Yep," the farmer said as he watched one of LA finest shoo
away several flies.

"These flies sure are terrible," the officer complained.

"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."

"What's a circle fly?"

"Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer.
"Them are circle flies."

"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's butt, would you?"
the LA police man angrily asked.

"Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't
fool them flies."

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